One more post seems impossible

I am supposed to write one more blog post for my class project.  Somehow though, as I sat here taking a break and surfing my facebook community I learned a close friend lost her battle with cancer today.

My heart is broken.

I want to hit this screen and yet- it is all I have right now to connect me to her and all our old school chums as we gather virtually in our grief.  It IS my community right now. 

This is where I will find solace through shared prayers- even though they are typed.  This is where I will be able to express anger and pain- to laugh over old pictures and then shed a tear that no more will come with her in them. 

This post just seems impossible to write and yet...I cannot seem to think of one quote from our books and yet- every page seems to scream the same message to me:  do not discount the power of the gospel, no matter what the medium. 

This is exactly why we need to take the lessons from this Media in Parish Education and RUN with them- run into the wind, the sun, the rain- run far and wise, spreading the news- the gospel.   In these moments- in this grief, I have little to offer her or the community except words through a digital screen... and that- that is a gift.  10 years ago I would have sat looking at an email and cried.  Now I can go to her page, see her pictures, the posts and share, right now in community. 

This- this is not some passing fad.  It is a gift to go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. 

Dedicated to the precious memory of Shannon Riedel, mother, wife, friend and sister in Christ who lived and died into her Baptism on this day, 13 December, 2013.

A gift to me, for me, this year

 In our Luther Seminary portfolios, we are asked by professor Mary Hess to include competencies.  These fall into three categories, knowledge, attitude and skill. In my second semester, under knowledge competency 1B, which is
"Familiar with basic faith nurture and learning theories: faith development over the life cycle, multiple intelligences, constructivist learning design (eg Parker Palmer's community of truth model), developmental learning principles, cross cultural learning, etc."
I noted this: 

"At this time this is not a competency I have acquired.  Ed I was the first chance I had to really begin to understand how to apply these theories. I am not familiar with most of them and am hoping through coursework I will become more so."

As I reflect on this second Ed course, I realize that I have indeed learned a new intelligence and learning design that encompasses the cross cultural learning of the internet and media today.  It is so easy to take it for granted- I have internet and ability and knowledge to use it.  I forget that I know things that many do not- even in my own home.  'Mom, how do you use this security thing again for virus control?'  'Honey, how do I connect the printer to the network?'

How easy it is to not even realize that this ability and knowledge can leave others behind in the church community- or- it can bring them closer.  The important part is remembering I have this tool- that others out there want to use it too and that we can bring everyone together with it- even those who choose not to use it.  We can share the gospel in a whole new way (cue A Whole New World  from Disney's Aladdin).

A thing learned... a joy, a sorrow

Time moves on- a restless, ever moving, ever changing, never changing entity, one we cannot ignore or hide from.

"From that one experience, a finger touching a flame, a person learns countless things."
~ A New Culture of Learning

It has been a joy to share my blog in a new way.  I did not start this blog for a large following.  It was a way to share my stories with my friends- not the world or even my classmates.  It continued as a way for my family and curious minds to see what happens in my life as a seminarian, mom, Army wife and plain old nomad.  Now, I share it with my classmates for my Ed II class that is about media in the parish.

One would think that closing each class is a joy... and it is to a degree.  But it also brings to an end a special relationship built, sometimes with one or two, more often, with 5 or 10 others who get to know each other in a whole new way.  I am grateful for our social media, for our internet and the blessing of online learning.  I am honored to read my classmates blogs and long after this class is done, I will be keeping them on my rss, wondering how they are and in an instant I will know.

Who would have thought how amazing the internet could be at helping us build relationships with someone we never met and may never share a cup of coffee with?  Not me, but boy oh boy, am I glad.

Ps.. here is a link to an old blog post about ends and goodbyes: should old acquaintance be forgot

Quote from A New Culture of Learning, SeelyBrown & Thomas, 2011.

Trade of the internet-privacy for agency

How do we gain agency in a world that seems to take joy in making more rules and taking away more personal freedom in the name of communal freedoms?  What would our world look like right now without the internet?  What has gotten better because of the internet?  Have we lost more or gained more agency?

Take this case of racial profiling in NYC.  Using '250's, the NYPD stop random persons under 'suspicion' and frisk them, filing a report whether anything came of it or not.  They have quotas to make on these and are subject to negative action if they do not submit.

Yes, things are changing now.  But why?  Because of the agency the internet provides us, that social media provides us.  UpWorthy is one such site that includes amazing stories that make a difference, exposing love, hate, law, injustice, passion, hilarity and more.

Yes indeed, we lose some agency on the internet- we lose privacy to be involved... but we gain a world of agency at our fingertips... if we have the internet and are willing to use it for better, we can make a difference, we can have a voice and give that voice to the voiceless. 

For more on this trade off and how to manage it, read NetSmart, How to Thrive Online, Howard Rheingold, 2012.

Knowing how...

"Knowing how is more important than simply knowing that." ~Mary Hess

Indeed.  For years I knew that rearing children is hard.  Knowing how it is hard is what helps me get through it.  It is in the knowing how that I am able to find what is going wrong and try to fix it.

When we only know that, we miss out on the understanding that comes with the process in which something comes into being.   More easily, we take something for granted and even more so, we discount the value of it. 

Some critics argue it is "the advent of digital technologies that has diluted and made more fragile our religious formation." They fail to recognize that while one process of religious being is no longer as easily brought into being, another process will evolve- has in fact, already evolved.

Those who eschew public gatherings, who have disdain for the traditional within the Church now have access.  They have a way to not only know that, but to know how Christ Loves them.  They can see Christian community without the familiar trappings- they can find it in obscure places and they can connect, creating new community. 

They would not find this if we did not have this digital technology.  They would be stuck only know that there is a God who loves them, but until they know how, the gift is often lost on them in the midst of tradition that turns them away.

For more on how to integrate and consider the impact of digital revolution on religious formation and community, read Engaging Technology in Theological Education, All That We Can't Leave Behind by Mary Hess, 2005.

The New Introvert- or rather "Net-rovert"

"It requires more work on the part of networked individuals to make their way successfully in an always-on, quickly moving world, and a new set of norms and skills-just as the transition from rural, agrarian life to urban, industrial life required."

In his book, NetSmart, How to Thrive Online, Howard Rheingold writes a chapter on how "Social Has a Shape" and explores the ramifications of the social aspect of the internet on our social lives.  Many argue we are losing our social ability for the sake of computer screens and minimalized contact online.  But the above quote really got me thinking.  We have both extroverts and introverts in both physical social circles and online as well.  Online, they tend to be what I call net-roverts.  The ones who aren't completely against the use of the internet and social media, but they really don't want to get into it too far for a variety of reasons.  They are the ones who still have an egg for thier Skype image or an outline on facebook.  The lurkers or the newbies that don't know what to do so they have the account but really, the tool sits still in their hands.

The point is, it takes work to be online and connect.  A LOT of work.  You must keep up with the newest waves of technology and know when to let a sinking ship sink or when to jump to the next bandwagon.  You have to be willing to put yourself out there in order to use the tools and all the more so to use them well.  It doesn't take less to be connected online- it just takes the same effort in a new way. 

Text from Netsmart, How to Thrive Online by Howard Rheingold, 2012.

Does connection mean experience?

Well I am "connected", does that count?
I tweet, I am on facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, classmates, Skype, and cafe-mom to name a few
I have learned by blackboard on tiger-tracks, on myluthernet and more with classmates in Turkey, Norway, Australia and China.
I blog on blogger,  yelp, and google+.
I share books and pics and songs and more through goodreads, instagram and YouTube
I read on my kindle and ipad, sharing notes with other readers I have never met.
I learn about makeup and crafts and see what my daughter is drawing lately through pinterest and deviantart.
I resource my sermons through a broad number of sites for history, scripture, sermon style, and public speaking.
I email and text, I even teach using google+ and YouTube.

But.... am I experienced? I don't know.  I know how to use analytics and I blog more than randomly. I work Veteran suicide prevention with a team that is all over the world simultaneously.  But  am I making a connection that is real?

My favorite movie is 10 Things I Hate About You- I loved it before most people know who Heath Ledger was... and my favorite line is this:

Tell me something true, tell me something real, something no one else knows. 

On my worst days, I curl into my husbands arms and softly whisper these words.  He knows that means it has been a day I only want to cry over.  That I have seen through my eyes, through a screen through my phone and my monitor that the world is a sad, broken, hurting, and devastated place.  It is bereft of hope and in those moments, I sure as heck feel connected.

But then someone I love dies.  And there is no connection.  I can post my pain, I can blog up a storm- but the community I have built- it can reach into my heart, but it does not pat my shoulder, it does not make me a cup of hot tea and tell me to curl up on the couch for a nap and good cry.  It does not deliver dinner for a break, it does not pick up sick kids from school.  And I wonder- is anybody out there.

And considering all this, that I know what it is to be connected and also alone in this great big cyber world, then yes. I would say, I am experienced too.


Learn more about the idea of "understanding how deeply relational and embodied learning is" and why this matters to a seminarian by reading Engaging Technology in Theological Education by Mary Hess, 2005.

Do I know something new?

A couple years ago, I read this competency for my Ed I class as a new seminary student:

Familiar with basic faith nurture and learning theories: faith development over the life cycle, multiple intelligences, constructivist learning design (eg Parker Palmer's community of truth model), developmental learning principles, cross cultural learning, etc.

I knew right away that I did not really have this at all as a competency and now, as I look back I have a little bit but the fact is, I really need to evaluate this and nurture it.   It is my hope that by the end of this class, I will have a better understanding of this knowledge and a better idea of how to use it for daily ministry.

Using media in the parish is an excellent way to bring this competency to bear on a growing demographic and need in our North American culture. How do we adjust to teaching/preaching/leading with the idea of a new learning design at hand?  Let's see what happens!

If you are curious- here is my e-portfolio I have been working on.  Sadly, I have a lot more you cannot see that is not published to it yet and is hidden while I continue to tweak it.

it feels like the first time- all over again- starting a new degree

You would think that once you have been to a couple of colleges, they all would start to have a large degree of commonality.  Not so.  I am floundering around again to learn new terms for a new college and, in the mindset of BK, doing it "their way."

Let me back up a moment and clarify a few things.  I started college and still did not understand, at age 32, what the difference was between an associate and bachelor degree.  It was not until about 2 years ago, at age 36, that I understood the difference between a bachelor of arts or sciences.  I am still struggling to understand the whole graduate and undergraduate component.  So, being the first generation to successfully attend and complete college in my family, I am learning the hard way- through a lot of mistakes, failures, missed deadlines and even more questions that really make me feel uneducated.

Having a bachelor degree under my belt, I thought I would feel smarter.  But not really.  I feel more uneducated than ever before.  I believe someone once said they were once too dumb to know what they didn't know and the more they learned the more they knew what they didn't know.  That would be me now.

I am all set for my classes to begin at Luther Seminary in Minneapolis.  For those who didn't know yet, I am a Master of Divinity student (MDiv)in a fairly new distance learning(DL) program.  (that is a whole different post!).  I will be learning from home, via Internet, but also must spend a month each year (2 weeks every June and January) on campus doing intensives. I also have to volunteer here locally  and keep up with my cohort (that is my learning 'group') weekly.  It is a far more structured distance learning program than most colleges offer, especially at the graduate level, but I believe that is fully necessary given the degree.

Being the first ever MDiv, DL  student for the New York Metro Synod of the ELCA (a Lutheran denomination), I am a guinea pig in a fishbowl- that is, watched quite closely.

So I have observed a few things at this point.
1.  Every college forgets what it is like to be a brand new student with them and misses opportunities to make it a little less frustrating or fear inducing.
2.  Greek doesn't count for credit toward an MDiv degree but you have to take a bunch of it.
3.  Minneapolis is supposed to have amazing stuffed burgers and I am making the list of places to try now.
4.  There is an app for Greek flashcards!
5.  It doesn't feel any different from starting at any other new school- no matter what it is all new and scary.  This is my 14th new start at a school since kindergarten so I think I know the drill but am still swept away by the newness.
6.  Nothing is centrally located for information.  It isn't just at schools, it is that way in life.  Who is supposed to be in charge of SOP's for life? (standard operating procedure)
7.  Reading the whole Bible in 90 days is harder than I thought but much easier than reading it in a year.  (less time to mess around and get behind!)