when is it too much? (tiger mom rant)

Question of the millenia....
When do we as mom's cross the line into neurosis over our children and their health?
When am I going too far by starting to push people to DO SOMETHING for God's sake and my daughters????
How do we make them understand that the point we are at is not one that has been lacking in patience to maintain?
When do we know it is okay to jump on someone's desk, to call a commander, a hospital commander, a post commander... anyone who can do SOMETHING to make SOMEONE move to do even the minimum necessary?
When is it worth it to embarrass our children and risk our husband getting a call to tell him to rein in his wife?
When do I stop waiting and being polite, waiting for calls to be returned, asking nicely for yet ANOTHER call to be returned? When do I file complaints and know they are worthy and not me just being a neurotic high strung mom?
And while I am at it, since when did bothering to return a business call become common medical practice? When did it become okay for mental health SPECIALISTS to IGNORE a call for information and at least a direction to head in? When did it become normal for medical persons to lie, to not bother, or to treat a potential client with disrespect and flat out rude behavior for us simply asking a question?
Since when did telling someone their information is listed incorrectly become offensive?
I know I am high strung... I get that. I know I can really make a big emphasis on something only to later understand it was not quite what I thought... I know I tend to be dramatic.... I get that. But does that mean that I have a different standard for raising a fuss? Does that mean I do not get to raise a fuss at all? How is it I don't know when to be that person at the right time for my family?
I may be a neurotic mom. I may be a strong personality to the point of overwhelming others.... but I want to know when it is okay to let myself me just that... strong. And isn't there a time in everyone's lives that they wished their mom had been a little more neurotic about something in their defense or for their care?
I finally had it today. I am tired of leaving yet another message to have yet another far less than professional medical specialist not bother to call me back- even to say No. And since I have hit the WALL on this I know now I am at risk of offending or alienating someone who may actually be useful and helpful on the "new" path I am taking to get what my girl needs.
Still... when is too much???